In search of a donkey!!

Since I am not the Cardinal (1)
and obviously I am not Condi (2) ,
she's not my style even!!
and since i was at a point in the last days thinking of going back to
Lebanon,probably to catch with July's heat(u know July in Beirut)(3)
why not???!!i said to myself,
maybe i get my real colour back(I'm palish now)??
now is the right time!!i said to myself
nor the cardinal is my style,by the way (referring to the first line)
decision made: I am going,
but how??
the possibilities of going there are wider than you think!!even at this time.
but my possibilities to fit in the previous possibilities is
diminished day after day.

air wise: it's clearly impossible for me since I'm neither a big shit
to get there on an American plane and land in the American embassy,
nor an Israeli pilot (glad to be neither)

water wise: it is possible,not for me though
since I'm ship phobic

ground wise:this could be:
1/ through the Lebanese Palestinian-border,which is impossible for me
since I'm neither an Israeli soldier nor a Hezbollah one
2/through any point on the Lebanese-Syrian border, not necessarily the
legal border by different types of transportation:
a-cars which are the easiest targets for Israeli bombs(since Syrian
taxis are yellow in colour and not that fast)
b-camels, they are so slow plus you cant find easily,unless from
Saudi Arabia, but the but the kingdom now is busy sending American made bombs to Israel
to be more effective in their war, so they don't have time to me, and
they'll put me down for sure and this is something i don't like. so i forgot camels
c-horses. i thought horses is the best idea but it turned not, since
good horses are either Arabic(straight away i took out this possibility)
or English, which personally i don't think that they are lazy,
since i always see them standing and shitting on the
doors of Buckingham Palace, and tourists taking pictures.
so horses is not a a good idea

I'm left with one option
a donkey!!
let me know if you get one on the market!??
could pay a good price!!

1-Nasrallah Sfier
2-Condoleezza Rice
3-July is known to be one of the hottest months in Lebanon.

bass